Sample Chapter

Introduction One Star Meets Another

I wrote these pages for adults of all ages, genders, sexualities and ethnicities, who are struggling to deal with an abusive childhood. I am one of these adults. Having been abused as children, we entered our adolescent and adult years with several psychological handicaps.

• We had no confidence
• We didn't like ourselves
• We didn't know how to listen to our instincts
• We didn't know how to protect ourselves
• We didn't feel loved or respected
• We felt we didn't matter
• We felt terrible shame
• We didn't trust the world to be a safe place

But we didn't know we were carrying these heavy hindrances. We maybe had big dreams of what we wanted to achieve in life? I did. We maybe felt excited about our future? Or maybe some of us were so beaten down, that by the time we became adults we were battle weary just trying to survive each day? Many of us who have experienced an abusive childhood find that life just doesn't seem to work out for us time and time again. I am embarrassed to admit that my life is a catalog of disasters. Maybe it's the same for you, so why is this? In these pages I am going to explain why this happens and I will show you how to make the necessary changes that will help you stop this pattern of setbacks and defeats.

While it is so easy to slip into a pattern of blaming our failures on our abusive childhoods, we owe it to ourselves not to become permanent victims. Being permanent victims means we give away our power and this does not serve us well. This book is about helping us reclaim power over our lives, no matter what age we are. It is never too late to learn how to improve our lives.

We are advised to write about what we know. I am a straight white European female, so I wrote from this perspective. However, there are over seventy genders, hundreds of sexualities and maybe thousands of ethnicities. I want you to know that the message in this book applies to all genders, sexualities and ethnicities. We are all experts on our own lives, so you will know how your childhood abuse specifically relates to your gender, sexuality and ethnicity. In this book, when giving examples, I used a straight white European female as my fictional character because this is the gender, sexuality and ethnicity I identify with.

Sadly, abuse is universal. We are all equal, so, no matter our gender, sexuality and ethnicity, childhood abuse leaves the same footprint on all of us.

*** If you find reading this material very upsetting and it leads you to thinking of self-harm, I am asking you to please check-in with your doctor, therapist or nearest self-harm/suicide prevention agency